30 September 2012

Free therapy with a coffee

sometimes I seat here 
and only good stuff appears
our weekends
the hollidays
we all seem so happy together
and we are
in these moments
there is 
no fights
no tantrums
no bickering
no closed doors
no dark moods
 (because we moved, again!)
and I'm feeling a good vibe
I'm doing the right thing
I'm a great mom
with them
for them

but other times
I feel
with whatever it's going on around here
(and believe me it's a lot)
I feel energy to fight
to be strong
to react
for them or with them
but not knowing for shure if I/we are doing the right thing
making decisions based on my gut feeling
my instinct
 is it going to be the right one?
Am I being reasonable?
or there is a cloud in my head that blurs everything?
Is it going to work?
Are they really listening?
or it's just an "whatever" answer that I'm going to get?
is it serious?
or is it just the age with some "drama queen/king" moments
should we go home?
would it be better?
and even doing so
would this problems go away?
I really don't think so
(I would have new problems!)

I take comfort with other moms
I know that all this is normal, frequent and I'm not the only one
but honestly
I don't care less with whatever it's going on with the others
It's not my problem
I have enough on my plate
I sympathize
I even cry with them
a tear or two
but only that

but they are the ones 
while we take coffee in the morning
that give me advice
make me think
 in new strategies
new thoughts
new ammunitions
they are the ones who tell me
with who should I talk 
where should I go
what should I try

they are the ones who listen to me
and they sympathize
(it's not their problem)
but in the end 
we help each other
free therapy
in english
every day
with a coffee 

have a nice day, everyone

PS: desculpem mas a tradução portuguesa não está disponível neste post :)


RITA said...

No need for translation...But I also have a morning coffee group of moms who became a group of very good friends.
Those teens problems are a bit the same around the planet...

Beijinhos Muito Grandes


Tx said...

Faço minhas as tuas palavras...but o miss the moreninha coffee a lot...is me, me and just me.
Not in a very good mood, feelling lonely...
It will pass is the Autumn mood...
Miss you!!
Nice week with maybe a postponed visit..

Tx said...

O translater não ajuda...morning...

Tucha said...

ohhh lá lá in english! Dá para praticar.
Pois é assim! Teenager problems sempre existiram e vão existir por vezes de fácil resolução outras a solução não se encontra no nosso limitado horizonte umas vezes estamos on mas outras completamente down, mas sempre com esperança que tudo passe carregando baterias sempre que possível. Podes ter a certeza que daqui a uns anos terás saudades deste tempo! Bjnhs a todos

Anonymous said...

In my experience one of the most difficult things about expat life, whatever age you are, is leaving your mom, sisters, cousins, girlfriends behind... Because when trouble starts,, that is what we women do... We turn to our female support group for advice, help, understanding, maybe only a pair of real non-judgemental ears that listen....
We girls do that all our life...
And when you leave, it I difficult to maintain that special bond. Of course it is always there, for the big things (at 40 I still call my mother ir sister in tears when things go pear shaped)... But it is the daily little mishaps, the daily little tragedies that perhaps you don't share with those back home... And then little by little there would be too much background explaining to do if you called... So you don't... And little by little you build your new female support group (in this case with a coffee!)... Which doesn't mean you completely lose your old one... You simply put it on pause for the "lesser" things, waiting to pick up again when in need... And in the end, you know what, you are all the richer for having HAD the chance to make these new real friends... Even for a while.
You go away with a little tiny piece of each one that held you, shared pieces of their life, marriages or motherhood experience with you.
Really we tend to forget that being an expat is not only good for the kids. There is something in it for all of us. In my case one of the best things has been meeting and bonding with so many different women that like me, didn't have a mom, a sister or a close friend around to cry with ;). Besos

Margarida Belchior said...

What a chance you have!! ... :-)) Great!!

Beijinhos grds para ti, e outro para todo o teu pessoal

Monika Kardoso said...

How i understand you! It´s not easy but i think that you should listen to yourself. You have been doing an amazing job so far...

Ana Soares said...

Such true words!

Ana Soares

Beth Herman Fridakis said...

so perfectly described :)